Writing About Therapy

Wahoo--today and tomorrow I will be attending the KAMFT (Kentucky Association of Marriage and Family Therapists) Conference. I love conferences! I'm really grateful to have a job that is flexible enough to allow me to squeeze in extra hours here, and take off extra hours there. Monday through Wednesday were pure mania, but now I get to go to a conference AND see a couple of private clients Friday evening.

I have been considering starting a weekly (or however often I manage to get it together) therapy-type post. Perhaps some of my experience working with a certain type of problem, or maybe some research on topics that interest me (and/or make me feel like I'm banging my head against a wall). I am reading Sue Johnson's book, "Hold Me Tight," right now, which is all about Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples. Some of that will probably make it on here, since I adore the book so far. But I would also love to field questions about any kind of relational or personal issues that might make find their way into a therapy room. If you've got an idea, let me know in the comments or here.

For a while now, I've felt like my blog is lacking some. . .substance. Oddly enough, I have felt compelled to work a TON on my blog lately, but writing about home projects and food and whatnot has felt pretty surface-y. At the same time, I have qualms about sharing the MOST important stuff--I mean, I guess I believe some of life's most sacred moments are best enjoyed privately. Does that make sense? Anyway, writing about some of what I do (while excluding confidential details about actual people, of course), seems like one way to put a little more 'me' into what I'm writing.

So I guess you can consider this your heads-up. Send me your ideas! I would love love love that. Oh, and don't forget the health challenge--starts this Monday. Let me know if you're in.

Happy Wednesday!

Emma Says.

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you may have read that my little sister, Emma, recently decided to serve an 18-month mission for our Church and was assigned to Cusco, Peru. She leaves June 5th. She has been sending me weekly scripture blurbs from her studies. Enjoy!

"There are many awesome prayers offered in the Book of Mormon but one that I learned about this week was Nephi’s (Nephi the son of Nephi who was the son of Helaman) in the beginning of Third Nephi.  In Third Nephi 1: 11 he starts his prayer like this, “And it came to pass that he went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith in the tradition of their fathers.”  I noticed that first he “bowed himself down upon the earth” which is a very humble thing to do. This showed the Nephi was ready to pray because he had left his pride out of the prayer.  The second thing I noticed about this piece is that he begins praying first for his people. That is a great example to me because I should pray for others, not just myself. And not only did Nephi pray for others, but he made them a priority. Next, in Third Nephi 1:12, we learn more about how prayers often work. The verse says, “And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him…”. I like this scripture because Nephi prays all day before he receives an answer to his prayer. This is a comfort to me because if it takes Nephi all day to receive an answer to his prayer, I guess I can be patient too. It is a reminder that prayers should be given in humility, are tests of faith and require real effort on our part." 

Warm, Happy Fishy.

Fishy was so much happier this morning after we decked him out with scarf and hat last night. I think it will become a nightly ritual.

Gus? Russ? Chad, Jr.?

I really love our little betta fish. We still need a name for him, though. Ideas?

Also, we woke up this morning and he looked like he was frozen. Like, no movement, fins sticking straight up. Until I swished his bowl around a little, and he moved around a little. Those were some terrifying moments. Do fish sleep? We are worried our house is too cold for him. 

But, first things first. We need a name for the little guy. We've been throwing around some different names, but nothing has felt quite right yet. 

Gettin' Healthy.

January's over, and maybe some of us need some extra motivation to be healthy as the new years resolutions fade into nonexistence.

Chad and I invited our family and friends to join us for a special health challenge, and today I thought, "Why not just open it up to the vast readership of my blog?!" [crickets]. Ahem.

Well, just in case you ARE reading this, here are the details.

1. Serious competitors will invest $10 at the beginning of the 8-week competition. You're welcome to follow along at home for FREE, but you miss out on having that extra little twinge of "I spent $10 to join that competition and now I'm flushing it down the drain by eating Chick-Fil-A for dinner?"

2. The first place winner will take 50% of the money, with second and third place winners taking 30% and 20%, respectively. Winners will also be featured here (oooh, the prestige!).

3. Each competitor gets access to their own personalized, online spreadsheet tracking their scores (and the ability to view other participants' scores, as well).

4. Each day, you earn up to 10 points for doing things like exercising at least 45 minutes (2 points), eating 5 servings of vegetables (2 points), drinking 64 ounces of water (1 point), not eating junk food (1 point), eating 3 healthy meals (1 point each), and not eating within 2 hours before you go to bed (1 point). Your lowest-scoring day will be dropped, and at the end of the 8 weeks, your lowest week will be dropped. (read: you are allowed one emotional/crazy/undisciplined day per week and one emotional/crazy/undisciplined week.)

Interested? Great! Email me here, and we can exchange info and I'll send you your spreadsheet. We'll start on Monday, February 25th. Feel free to share the button below, which will link back to this post. Let's get healthy, everybody!

<div align="center"><a href="http://camillathegorilla.blogspot.com/2013/02/gettin-healthy.htm" title="Mr & Mrs. Smith"><img src="http://i1282.photobucket.com/albums/a523/cammiebecksteadsmith/5fd3e682ab2ed1271c4c6f5ef659ad49_zps14b24ce5.jpg" alt="Mr & Mrs. Smith" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

My First Valentines as a Married Person.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it was our first one together. I mean, we were "together" last year, but we weren't together together because I was in Alabama and Chad was in Louisville.

I think both of us were kind of nervous this time around. (Partly because Chad has now had up-close experience with the rollercoaster emotions of a female who pretends not to have high expectations about anything and then gets her feelings hurt sometimes. I really want to curb that.) Anyway, our conversation on Sunday went something like this:

Chad: What can I do for you to make sure you have an awesome Valentines Day?
me, stammering: Oh, ummm...nothing! I'm sure whatever we do will be great.
Chad: Okay, cool.
me: Is there anything I can do so it's awesome for you?
Chad: Honestly? Just make me feel like you're happy about it. Be happy.
me: Oh, yeah! Sure!

10 minutes later...

Chad: So, I'm kind of nervous about Thursday.
me: What? Why?
Chad: I dunno, I mean, it's not like I've totally neglected thinking about Valentines Day, but I just hope you don't have really high expectations.
me (innocently): Who, me? Nawww...I don't have any expectations. (frantically thinking: crap, what are my expectations and how can I get rid of them now?)
Chad: Oh, okay. Cool.  

So yes, I left that conversation thinking, "Dang it--just another example of not even knowing what my own expectations are, much less being able to articulate them. Prepare for failure and heartbreak."

I really do have some serious work to do on my interpersonal skills--like, oh, communication, for example. Scary, since I'm a therapist and supposedly an expert on that kind of thing. Weird how I can be so aware and yet so unskilled at times.

Anyway, yesterday ended up being the best Valentines Day I have ever had! Granted, I was working for most of it. And Chad and I had exchanged our little gifties on the 13th, so I really didn't expect anything else on the 14th. But there was chocolate, and nice notes, and Chad made a killer salmon dinner for us. (Only one glass and one plate got broken in the process! (which was actually pretty hilarious, since there has never been a broken glass or plate or anything, in all the months we've been married. of all days.)) It was the height of romance and fun. I love that man. First Valentines' as a married couple = success!

Happy Valentines Day!

We gave each other our gifts yesterday. They were actually meant to be given on Valentines Day, but we each did a relatively poor job of hiding them. I found Chad's orchid in the basement a few days ago, after wondering why he kept forgetting to turn the light off down there. Chad walked in on me this morning right after I had finished feeding the fish (who was stashed right under my side of the bed). The funny thing is, we had each decided to pretend to be surprised by each other's gifts, so neither of us said anything until this afternoon.

me: There's a surprise for you in this room.

Chad: I know.

me: Wait, what?! You KNOW?

Chad: Yeah, I saw it. This morning. It's awesome!

me: oh, well, I saw yours, too.

Look how beautiful they are together. Our pretty new betta and our pretty new orchid. What should we name the betta? Oh and also, I worked a little on my lettering last night--what do you think? A fellow blogger is hosting a valentine handwriting linkup, so go here to check out some others or share your own!