I'm happy about how the therapy office is coming together. I have my first client coming tonight, and I am so excited but so terrified at the same time. I'm not sure if that's a function of not seeing clients for a month, or because I'm a little more on my own now. Probably the second one. I was feeling so competent working under someone else's umbrella for the past year and a half. And I guess technically, I'm still not completely alone--I have a supervisor and I will be in either group or individual supervision for about 8 hours every month--so I'm not alone. However, this is my business. My name. My reputation. The ever-present pressure of desperately hoping I can help the person who walks in to see me, on top of this new pressure of keeping them coming back, satisfying them and helping them reach their goals so they will speak highly of me to their friends--it's a lot. That's all.
But, I can do it. Right? I love therapy. I love meeting people, helping people, being with them in the room to see the insights and the fights and the contemplation and the change. I love every aspect of what therapy is. I just hope I can remember that over the roar of my nervous pulse.
What a wonderful thing that my dream job starts today.