Sunday, July 29, 2012

About Us.

He's in dental school. He's got about 2 years to go. I am a marriage and family therapy associate. (Meaning, someday I will be a Licensed MFT, but until then I sign "Marriage and Family Therapy Associate" instead of "LMFT." Hand cramps.)

He's from Idaho. I'm from Colorado.

We live in Louisville, KY.

I love the outdoors, live music, and most things sugary. He loves all of the above, plus he loves eating salad. We met at a regional singles' conference for our church, and got married in July of 2012.  Together we have decorated, become parents to a lovely betta fish, agonized over our long-distance (Alabama-Kentucky) relationship & engagement, worshipped, road-tripped, baked, and mostly gotten along. Welcome to our little blog!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sweet Home Alabama

Today I went out to the home of some of my clients in Phenix City for therapy. They live in a tiny house with the most amazing backyard I have ever seen. Right on the river. The teenage daughter had told me her backyard was "like, the most amazing yard ever, but [her] parents were so [bleeeeeeep] that they never let anyone come over," but I figured she was probably exaggerating.

Nope, it was really that awesome.

But I was too shy to ask to take pictures. After an hour and a half of "therapy" that felt like Jerry Springer meets Steel Magnolias, however, I was ready to find some pretty outdoors. I found the Phenix City River Walk. I love it, and I can't believe I've worked in this town two days a week for an entire year without finding this place! The sun was just fixin' to go down, people were out fishin' and walkin' and runnin', and I just felt so glad to be there.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


Maybe this is kind of a vain post, but I did my makeup and hair today and it felt really good. It hasn't happened a lot since I've been in graduate school, and I sure took my time today. Yes, the Alabama frizz will always be there (or Kentucky frizz, no doubt), but it's nice to feel a little pretty. Looking forward to slower mornings for a while. :)

Also, in exactly two weeks I will be headed to Atlanta to hop on a plane for home. The excitement is finally hitting me. Home! Wedding! Chad! Family! And I recently decided to forego my graduation ceremony in favor of a full extra day of honeymoon in Florida with Chad AND--this just in--a possible jaunt up the Atlantic coast on our way back up to Kentucky (now that we won't have to stop in Auburn for graduation). Oh, this is just becoming too good to be true.

Oh hey, do you have a favorite book or book on tape? I'm thinking suspense or mystery--you know, something really gripping--but I'm open to whatever. We're gonna have a looooong drive from FL to KY.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Celebrating the cohort of 2012.

Here's to the best cohort that ever was. I feel so grateful that I came to Auburn two Augusts ago to meet these people. I will miss eternal Tuesdays where we shared clients and dinners and jokes and tears and looks of exasperation. It feels really cheesy to say it, but we share a very unique bond because of what we've been through together. Boot camp. Game nights. FCS. Clinic Night. Pumpkin burning. Half-marathon training. Pink sheets. Thesis. Profile analysis. Tuesday jam sessions. Football. Bachelorette viewing sessions. AAMFT Conference. 4 people sharing an economy hotel room with one bed because somebody isn't very good at using priceline (that was me). Okay, that's probably enough. I love these people. I hope I'm a good therapist. I know I'm a better person for having associated with these friends of mine.

And now, I draw a few lines from the melodramatic closing number of my high school choir concert, in which I could not sing because I was too busy sucking the snot away from my mouth because I was bawling like a baby: "How do we say goodbye, when we never want it to end? Why can't we just pretend there'll never be a goodbye or farewell, my friend? Why must this be the end? One day we'll meet again. 'Til then we'll say goodbye. Yes, we'll say good byeeeeeeee [suppressed sobs and sniffles]...Goodbye."

Oh, but it's not high school. Somehow I feel like the world actually isn't ending, and maybe we actually will meet again. AAMFT Conference 2012? Yeah, probably.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Happy Birthday, Grandma Davis!

Today is a very special day, because it is my Grandma Davis's birthday. Here's a picture of us on a recent trip we took together from Grand Junction to Colorado Springs. We stopped in Georgetown, CO.

Funny fact about this trip: I flew into Denver around 11:00pm (should have been much earlier...missed my flight...bla bla bla) and Grandma picked me up to drive to Grand Junction together. I figured I would have to do a lot of the driving, since Grandma doesn't like driving late at night and she also doesn't stay up late most of the time. But this was not the case. I offered to drive for the last hour or so when we stopped near Glenwood Springs, but quickly started fading once I got behind the wheel, so she had to take over again. She was like the Energizer Bunny, and had no problem driving til 3 in the morning.

I love and respect this woman so much. Cheerful and kind, yet assertive and strong-willed. Interested and connected, yet independent. Serious about important things, yet silly and carefree when it's time to be. She's part of the reason I love road trips, and mountains, and missionary work, and music, and Christmas.

I can't wait to see Grandma in less than 3 weeks for the wedding! I know she will be there to help and laugh and make everything fun. I hope she has a wonderful day, and many more to come. Love you, Grandma!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

I WILL have the last word.

Sometimes it is so, so very difficult not to have the last word about something. Thank goodness for my blog.

I have found myself in a situation with a superior of mine at school (let's call him Superior #1). Basically, I have a deadline coming up for my thesis--it is July 11th. I defended my thesis on April 30th, but passed "with revisions," meaning that I wasn't completely done until I finished those. Well, I took it easy after I defended, knowing I would get it done in time for the deadline, but desperately wanting to escape the thing for a month or two. Which is exactly what I did.

Shortly after I came back to working on it just a few weeks ago, I had a frantic email from this superior of mine. And many frantic emails which followed the first. You see, Superior #1 had assumed I would quickly finish my revisions (without communicating this to me; and actually, he had suggested I "take my time" so that it looked like we had given due diligence to the suggested revisions which came from another person), and he had failed to properly manage his own time and various personal projects he had going on. And unfortunately, he had failed to communicate with me that another superior (we will call her Superior #2), who also needed to approve the revisions, was leaving on vacation and had hoped to be done reviewing my thesis a full 10 days prior to the actual deadline.

Let me say here that had I known about these secret time constraints, I would have been respectful and compliant. I would have bitten the bullet and gotten it done. But as it was, I was happily enjoying my summer and preparing to get it done in time for the deadline.

Well, everything came to a head last week when Superior #2 informed Superior #1 that Friday was the last day she would look at my thesis before she came back from vacation--after July 11th. In other words, if she didn't have it by Friday, I wouldn't graduate this semester. Which would mean I would continue to be a "BS Intern Therapist" next semester wherever I find a job, and any hours I accrued would not move me towards licensure. It would be a big blow, especially for someone who actually defended earlier than all of her classmates.

Anyway, Superior #1 and I kept sending the thesis back and forth last week--every time I sent it, I thought maybe I had made the final revisions; every time he would send it back with more suggestions. (insert: Superior #1 is extremely self-conscious and has actually applied pressure to me by saying that he can't have Superior #2 thinking he doesn't know how to chair a thesis. Interesting, because he has done very little to actually "chair" my thesis, other than this frantic craziness in the last couple of weeks.) Finally, I sent if off late Thursday night, hopeful it was complete. Knowing this might not be the case, however, I asked Superior #1 to please, please call me or text me, as I would be driving to Kentucky the following day and would need a heads-up to get to a place with a computer/internet if I needed to change something.

No word from Superior #1.

I called; no answer. Left a message.

I texted; no response.

What would you do? Probably forget about it! Which is what I did. I enjoyed the weekend with Chad. We unpacked my stuff and went camping and had a glorious time. Sunday I arrived home to frantic emails from Superior #1. "Cammie, I don't want to assume what this silence means. I still have not heard from you. Please tell me if you are working on the thesis and making the revisions." Emails from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Aaaaaarrrrrgh!! I wanted to scream. Instead, I picked myself up, went to campus at 9:00 at night on Sunday, and started pounding away at the new set of suggested revisions. In walked Superior #1. I was calm, but I asked him, "Is your phone broken? I have called and texted. And did you not read my email where I asked you to please call me?" He gave a weak excuse about his phone being on silent (for the past 3 days?!) and proceeded to tell me about how I had picked the worst time for this. (Excuse me, I did not choose the deadline.) He had a book chapter due yesterday, and he was going to have to make some excuses tomorrow about why it wasn't done. (Why is this my problem?)

His advice to me: "Cammie, I was in to see [Superior #1] on Friday since I hadn't heard from you [suppressed scream of frustration] and she said she absolutely did not want to see anything but the final version. We are going to be very lucky if she will take the time to read it Monday or Tuesday before she goes on vacation. If I were you, I would write her an email, tell her you know this is all your fault. And then tell her you know you are at her mercy and that you are confident if she will just take the time to read a few pages of your discussion, she will see the document is high quality."

My response: "Okay." (what the freak? all my fault? can you say "DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE?")

And then, I said, "You know, if I would have known things were going to be so crazy for you, I would have acted differently. You could have told me you needed this done early."

His response: "Yeah, well you're in your own little world. You're thinking about yourself. It's okay."


[sorry, this is the longest post ever]

Anyway, I sent the thing to Superior #2 Sunday night. And she told me, in a kind but not very reassuring way, "I will do my best. I am very busy. If I find an extra hour at some point, I will definitely read it." (Oh, great. . .)

I sent an email to Superior #1 letting him know what had happened. I said something like, "I finished the revisions and sent it to Superior #2. I really hope she will find time to read it, although she wasn't terribly reassuring. If she doesn't get to it, I will have to move to Plan B. I will arrange a meeting with the head of the department. Surely, in a situation such as this, he could "sit in" on my committee or appoint someone else to do so. I don't think it is fair for me not to graduate because of what has happened when I was not clear about there being an early deadline." And then, "Anyway, I'm probably getting ahead of myself. Hopefully Superior #2 will find time to read it."

The good news: Superior #2 found an "unexpected extra hour" and read it, said it looked great, and she was signing the papers.

The infuriating news: I had a patronizing email from Superior #1 this morning, telling me how glad he was it had worked out for me, that Superior #2's reading the thesis Monday was really our last hope, and that sometime he would explain to me why the suggestion I had made in a prior email (the one about going to the head of the department) would have never worked.

This man HAS to have the last word. (And he's already telling co-workers and other students about how irresponsible I was--he chooses all the right details to paint that picture, believe me.) I wanted to shoot back an email, saying, "That's nice. Interesting you think it wouldn't have worked--I think you are just relieved I didn't expose your incompetence to the head of the department. Let's please skip that conversation." But I didn't say that. I haven't said anything. I am saying it here. I feel so infuriated but so limited because I really can't afford to make an enemy of Superior #1. My lot is to smile, nod, and bite my tongue while enduring a barrage of patronizing comments about how selfish I am, how thoughtless and irresponsible, how fortunate at the mercy of Superior #2, etc.

And the follow-up email this morning from Superior #1: "Both Superior #2 and I would like a bound copy of your thesis."

That'll be the most begrudged $50 gift I've ever given, I can assure you.

Oh, I am so bitter. Please, please don't hate me for being such a bitter wreck right now. I will cool down, really. But right now I am just mad.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Fresh Starts. . . and the FINAL Louisville visit before I make it my place of residence.

Just a quick bedtime post to say I'm really grateful for fresh starts, which are in rich supply for me right now. I moved a bunch of stuff up to Kentucky and saw the beautiful little home Chad and I will be living in, and we basked in being together and enjoying our last visit before the wedding.

I guess I'm just really happy about moving into a new phase of my life, being done with grad school (PLEASE can I be done revising my thesis?!), and thinking about who I want to be. I love the opportunity I have right now to think about who I have been in Auburn--in the branch, in my calling(s), at school, with my roommates, as a person, really--and to decide who I want to be in my new city. What kind of wife/Church  
member/citizen/therapist/person will I be?

Speaking of fresh starts, I was feeling really proud of myself today for actually improving on something I've struggled with. I realized that Christ's Atonement offers us lots of 'fresh starts,' and I'm grateful for that. Starting over--whether it be moving to a new city, getting married, or just improving at something and forgetting past mistakes--it all just feels like such a blessing right now.

Oh, and um...only 26 days!! Good heavens.

Here are some trip pictures.

by the scummy water after deciding not to swim.

oh how badly I wanted to get in the water. . . but couldn't bring myself to do it.

looking adorable.

pretty trees and sunshine by our campsite.

a parody of our overly-abundant "squishy face" pictures

lookin' sweaty...106 degrees of pure humidity

flowers, a card, AND my favorite person all in one house.


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