Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it was our first one together. I mean, we were "together" last year, but we weren't together together because I was in Alabama and Chad was in Louisville.
I think both of us were kind of nervous this time around. (Partly because Chad has now had up-close experience with the rollercoaster emotions of a female who pretends not to have high expectations about anything and then gets her feelings hurt sometimes. I really want to curb that.) Anyway, our conversation on Sunday went something like this:
Chad: What can I do for you to make sure you have an awesome Valentines Day?
me, stammering: Oh, ummm...nothing! I'm sure whatever we do will be great.
Chad: Okay, cool.
me: Is there anything I can do so it's awesome for you?
Chad: Honestly? Just make me feel like you're happy about it. Be happy.
me: Oh, yeah! Sure!
10 minutes later...
Chad: So, I'm kind of nervous about Thursday.
me: What? Why?
Chad: I dunno, I mean, it's not like I've totally neglected thinking about Valentines Day, but I just hope you don't have really high expectations.
me (innocently): Who, me? Nawww...I don't have any expectations. (frantically thinking: crap, what are my expectations and how can I get rid of them now?)
Chad: Oh, okay. Cool.
So yes, I left that conversation thinking, "Dang it--just another example of not even knowing what my own expectations are, much less being able to articulate them. Prepare for failure and heartbreak."
I really do have some serious work to do on my interpersonal skills--like, oh, communication, for example. Scary, since I'm a therapist and supposedly an expert on that kind of thing. Weird how I can be so aware and yet so unskilled at times.
Anyway, yesterday ended up being the best Valentines Day I have ever had! Granted, I was working for most of it. And Chad and I had exchanged our little gifties on the 13th, so I really didn't expect anything else on the 14th. But there was chocolate, and nice notes, and Chad made a killer salmon dinner for us. (Only one glass and one plate got broken in the process! (which was actually pretty hilarious, since there has never been a broken glass or plate or anything, in all the months we've been married. of all days.)) It was the height of romance and fun. I love that man. First Valentines' as a married couple = success!